17 Questions You’ve Always Wanted To Ask Your Airline Pilot

A clip from Chris Rock’s Netflix special Tamborine has resurfaced on social media, offering the comedian’s take on police brutality against black people in the United States. Rock continued: “Bad apple? That almost sounds nice. I know being a cop is hard. I know it is, okay? We just got a few bad apples that like to crash into mountains. Please bear with us.

Aviation Humor

We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. Federal officials say it is irrelevant that the pilots of a Continental Airlines jet laughed about the dating habits of a stewardess but never discussed the blizzard outside moments before the plane crashed. The National Transportation Safety Board plans to announce its decision on the cause of the crash next month.

A two-minute, second part of the cockpit conversation had been deleted from transcripts issued by the NTSB last January.

I thought we should all tell some pilot jokes. at the end of the flight the jet engine stops whining Q:How do you know your dating a pilot?

As historian Gene Zubovich helpfully pointed out this week , the CIA is apparently sitting on an impressive collection of jokes. In recent years, the U. The National Post sifted through the pile in a search for the funny parts, and found these highlights. The jokes were all told amongst Soviets themselves, and were apparently gathered by CIA operatives. New York lawyer James Donovan specialized as a U. And like most New Yorkers, Donovan apparently had a penchant for shooting off his mouth.

Every Ridiculously Corny Flight Pun From Peter’s ‘Bachelor’ Premiere

Answer: NotHisKin Groundwalkers! Even before the big Disney purchase, Star Wars has always been positioned as something for the whole family, despite the fact that parents routinely are murdered by their children in pivotal moments of the saga. Still, kids love Star Wars, and most fun parents are totally on board, too. But how do you impress the Star Wars kid who knows everything?

When it comes to making kids happy, ancient film geek knowledge is no match for a corny joke by your side. Here are 19 kid-friendly Star Wars jokes to kick to make your kids feel the pun-side of the Force.

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These funny conversations took place between air traffic controllers, pilots and air crew around the world. Many of these air traffic control quotes and piloting stories – especially those submitted direct to this website – are absolutely true stories and factual; others have perhaps been embellished a little. These ‘ATC’ Air Traffic Control stories and quotes are included here because they are very funny, and also because the collection provides examples of confused and somewhat ineffective communications and relationships between ‘customers and suppliers’, and other similar situations.

These ATC quotes and stories therefore offer excellent quotes, stories, analogies and examples for training, speaking, presentations, writing, etc. Organizational culture, leadership, attitudes, service, reputation, etc. Discrimination, prejudice, xenophobia, arrogance, bullying, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. The authenticity of some of the Fudpucker ATC conversations cannot be guaranteed, but generally the contributed original stories submitted to me, attributed and dated below, are real events told by real people.

If you find this sort of material useful for learning, training, public speaking, etc. I welcome further contributions of your own original amusing airtraffic control stories, pilot stories, and engineering ‘gripe sheets’ and aircraft maintenance stories. Send your contribution. By sending your contribution you agree to its being edited and published on this webpage. You retain ownership of the original material, assuming it’s yours in the first place.

Please provide details of how you’d like to be attributed on this page e. Due to the nature of these stories, flight terminology below may not always be technically correct, and may also be edited or explained in parts for the benefit of non-aviation folk.

Stewardess Jokes

Discussion in ‘ Hangar Talk ‘ started by wbarnhill , Nov 20, Log in or Sign up. Pilots of America. Best pilot pick up lines. List your best, your worst, or your funniest.

Tim Vine fronts the pun-filled BBC Comedy pilot, ‘Tim Vine Travels in Time’ (​Photo: BBC). Tim Vine, best-known for his his role on Not Going.

Q: Whats the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant? A: At the end of the flight the jet engine stops whining Q: What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and God? A: God doesn’t think He’s a fighter pilot. Q: What’s the difference between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? A: A pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.

If you masterbate on a plane do they charge you with “hi-jacking”?

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Hopefully Bachelor Nation had their tray tables up and their seats in the upright position before Pilot Pete began his journey for love, because the Bachelor premiere was full of flight puns. From Chris Harrison’s signature corny narration to a first night full of airplanes — both real and paper — to a Top Gun -themed group date that would make Tom Cruise proud, the Season 17 premiere wanted to make sure that everyone watching at home knew that Peter is a pilot.

And that was just the beginning of all of the cheesy, flight-related puns that populated the extra-long premiere episode.

Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in.

Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Wading into the deep and dark waters of Tinder takes courage and strength, but if you can survive the treacherous journey into the kingdom of ‘matches,’ a treasure trove of the most brilliant pun pick up lines known to humankind awaits you there. If you have any experience at all with the massively popular hookup – er, dating app known as Tinder, you know that in most cases it’s the place where humor and basically any semblance of personality comes to die.

Tinder pick up lines are known to be notoriously bland and are usually just abbreviated phrases. When the rare and precious moment comes along that someone delivers the best puns ever that are smoother than a Pina Colada, it’s definitely worth celebrating. The rest of the time Well, let’s just say that there aren’t enough hands in the world for the number of facepalms we’d like to do, because of the ‘best’ Tinder pick up lines.

Check out the worst and best puns that we managed to scrape from the very bottom of Tinder, and vote for the ones that made you laugh – or cringe – the hardest. This post may include affiliate links.

113 Brilliant Tinder Puns That Totally Deserve A Date, But Don’t Always Work As Expected

It’s easier to believe in magic than to understand how people can make a 1,ton metal machine fly up in the sky. Ignorance causes fear of things we don’t understand. This is why many pilots and other employees of airline companies freely share information about air travel and the risks involved. They also explain why planes are beautiful things! Bright Side chose 16 clear answers to the most exciting and difficult questions that bother every person who has ever seen a plane.

Know a good Pilots and Flight Attendants joke that’s missing here? Tell us and How do you know when you are half way through a date with a pilot? Because.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information. This joke may contain profanity. A plane ditches off the coast of a deserted tropical island. The pilot, the co-pilot and a hot stewardess are the only survivors They start to set up camp. John, the pilot builds a hut, Jack, the co-pilot does his best in hunting and gathering, and Jane a campfire going.

The eat all together, look at the stars and ponder on their new fate. After nightfall, they get into the hut, cuddle to keep warm and fall asleep. What did the airline stewardess say to the passenger who whispered in her ear that his last dying wish was to join the mile high club?

Funny Pilots and Flight Attendants Jokes

Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. China Blames U. All rights Reserved. Killed bin Laden.

Tinder is the biggest dating app ever, and with so many people in it, it’s still hard to find She Asked For A Pickup Line, But I Asked If I Could Tell A Joke Instead For example, waiting for a flight at the airport and watching people was a great​.

View Full Version : Pilot jokes. A flight attendant I flew with was recently dumped by the pilot she was dating. Her coping mechanism was to collect and pass as many pilot jokes as she could. What does a pilot use for birth control? How do you know there’s a pilot at your party? What’s the second thing a pilot says when on a date? Keep ’em coming, she’s only a few weeks into mourning. Why not check out the Friday Jokes thread where, no doubt, your post will end up soon. The difference between a pilot and a pig?

Pigs doesn’t hang around in bars trying to pick up pilots. What’s the difference between God and a pilot? Cross out plan number He assumed I was Australian and pressed on with telling a mass of very anti-British jokes.

The best social distancing jokes and memes from the coronavirus pandemic

Last year, Mark Vanhoenacker, an American British Airways pilot with a Belgian surname , wrote a book about flying commercial airplanes for a living. That stackup of nationalities gives a first taste of the many many places the book goes, the general borderlessness of Skyfaring. A former academic and management consultant, Vanhoenacker, used a quarter-life pivot to place himself behind the wheel yoke of the —a plane that the architect Norman Foster called the twentieth-century building he admired most.

The book is a sustained meditation on the wonders of flight. How, as St.

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Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke. Want to sponsor this page? Please contact us for more information! On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whisky you cow! When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, “And get me another whisky you bitch”.

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach, “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick your ass”. Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, “For someone who can’t fly you’re a lippy bastard!

Flight Attendant Relationships with Pilots